Letter to Meghan

Dear Future Me

I have been a student teacher for 46 days. I have spent 46 days observing students, observing lessons, observing classroom management, observing lesson planning and, of course, observing teaching. Those 46 days in the classroom account for 28 pages of typed notes and about 50 pages of learning log notes. There were many discussions, tests, debates, presentations, and group activities observed. I saw Structured Student Choices, No Opt Out, Graphic Organizers, Warm/Strict, Yes And…, Differential Instruction and hundreds of Invitations and Questions to the students. It is in those 46 days that I have begun the journey of becoming a teacher. I have learned a lot about teaching over the past 2½ months, but I know that there is always something to be learned. What I can tell you are the things that I have learned, as well as exactly where I was when I realized I had learned these things and was becoming a teacher.

Before I tell you about my sudden epiphany, with the help of a group of unruly middle schoolers and 1 Center School teacher, I must discuss my experience at Center School. Looking back on my first few days at Center School I was obviously nervous; I can tell from my first 6 pages of notes. I took notes on everything and questioned everything. “Is that how all teachers do that” and “should I do that” cover my notes. I was worried I would do something incorrect, little did I know that that was not possible at Center School, where “It’s Okay to go Outside the Lines” is the school motto. Within the first few weeks we student teachers were thrown into math, science, english, computer and writers workshop. I was there for social studies but I observed just about every class under the roof (literally). At Center School I was able to see theory put into practice. In one class I observed one teacher joking around with her class, but then demanding the best work possible from all her students: Warm/Strict. I saw teachers attempt to settle down their classes with invitations. One teacher, Ms. Hartmann allowed her students to do different types of activities about one overarching topic that was the Dutch in New York City. This was obviously Structured Student Choice. I would read and discuss theory and fun activities in my classes at Fordham and would observe them at Center School. I became less nervous by day 13 through 20 and completely comfortable by day 26. However I don’t think that it was until day 40 that I think I became a “teacher”.

December 13^th started off like any other day at Center School. Alyssa Bernstein and I sat in the office with a few other student teachers and 1 or 2 teachers. We were discussing this days schedule since; as usual it was different and confusing. Two teachers were out that day and there were no real teachers to fill in (Center School does not have substitute teachers). The principle, Ms. Swartz, walks into the office and asks Ms. Bernstein and I if we can cover those two classes. They are both writers’ workshop classes and should be fairly simple to handle. The students are to think of their life as an autobiography and give it a title. They are then to answer the question “Why?”. Our first class went great. We wrote the directions on the board as well as stated them verbally; we also had a student repeat them back to us. We gave them ample time to complete the assignment and then did a big sweep of the class to make sure everyone shared. We then had “conversations on paper” where students could comment on their peers without speaking to each other. Again, this went well and Alyssa and I were very excited to do this with our next class. The second class came into the room and we knew it was going to be different.

It was in this class that I realized I could be Warm/Strict just like the teachers I had observed. This class complained about the activity and struggled to get quiet and remain quiet. In the books we read for Fordham it told us that we should have thanked the class for being so quiet, but I knew in that moment that if I said ANYTHING they would begin talking again. It was finally time for them to present their autobiography title. We again were going to sweep the room so everyone could present. The 1^st person got up to present; the class bullied her. We told them to stop. The second student came up, they too were met with bullying. We told the class if they couldn’t do this without talking, they were going to sit in silence for the rest of class. The 3^rd student came up; bullied. We took their papers from them and told them that they were to sit in complete silence for the rest of class. They sat like this until the end of class. We let them know that we were upset with them, but will give them another chance the next time we met.

About an hour later a Center School teacher walked up to me and told me she had heard what had happened. She then said “Congratulations. You are officially a teacher” and walked away. I thought about this for a moment. I really had become a teacher. During that class I never worried I was doing something incorrectly, I assessed the situation and handled it, and I moved on and away from the problem. I reached my objective for the class and, although there were some big bumps along the way, I had fun. I was no longer on the same level as the students, but I was their teacher and deserved and required the respect they give the Center School teachers.

While there are still more theory left to learn, and more experiences to obtain, I now know that I can handle myself in not ideal situations. This was something I was worried about for those first 13 days. I used several theories and tips we had learned at Fordham, but I used them in ways that fit my teacher persona. I might not have handled the situation the way another teacher handled it, but I got the respect of the students and stood my ground when my students became difficult. I became a teacher in that moment and I look forward to some situations where I can prove myself again.

So Meghan, I am writing this letter so you can look back on it and remember the exact moment when you became a teacher. You can look back and remember that you might be scared and worried you are doing something wrong, but chances are you are fine and will handle any situation that comes at you. You will look back on this letter and remember those great 46 days at the Center School. You will be reminded of some of the theories you learn in your first full semester at Fordham, and you will remember that at one point (and hopefully still) you loved teaching. My one goal for myself: Don’t put so much importance on doing things “the right way” and do it the way you think is right. Continue to enjoy teaching and GET A JOB! Happy holidays and get excited because once you finish writing this letter, you can go to sleep and wake up with only 1½ days till you can go home Christmas!

Best,

Meghan Schuster